Storyboard Your Life

2006-01-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

Shining your sink

My first day trying to get work done after a relaxing week off over Christmas and New Year's was awful. I had no motivation. I felt like a mule I practically had to beat to get moving. I could not afford to have day two go the same way.

So, I brushed off the old storyboarding techniques and mentally rehearsed how the next day would go--with my being at my desk focused, ready to work, psyched to do a great job by 8:00 a.m., having already done my prayers first thing in the morning, eaten a good breakfast and read the paper.

One key though to having a great day is how the night before goes. I'm so grateful to the Flylady for some simple routines she teaches that make a huge difference in how your day will go. She insists that you shine your sink before you go to bed and that you lay our your clothes for the next day.

Well, late in the evening of day one, I looked at a stack of dirty dishes in the sink and remembered what the Flylady would say. So, I washed them, shined the sink. Then, I thought I should also wash the lettuce for my husband's lunch, too. Used the time to continue my positive preview of coming attractions. Did that. Laid out my clothes for the next day.

Boom! The next day was highly productive. Mentally rehearsing, writing down some goals, works every time.

When I haven't done it, I find it hard to get moving. And I sag when I look at the little tasks I have to do and they start to mount up, adding to even more of a sense of discouragement. More sagging. But when I've storyboarded, even a sort of "half-storyboard" like I did the other day, then somehow I have zest. I enjoy straightening some pillows as a walk by, finding ways to be efficient and knock off little things.

2004-09-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

Be careful what you wish for, you may get it

One of the most fun parts of storyboarding is envisioning how much you are going to love whatever it is you are storyboarding. The technique works really well in helping us get motivation and zest to tackle whatever it is we've been procrastinating about.

Some people advise that you envision the great mansion you'd like to live in, the dream car, the money you hope to have. I personally am wary of this, unless one knows one is doing it for fun, but doesn't become overly invested in the envisioned results. I'm wary of too much focus on riches, things, material success because sometimes, this focus can seem a bit like an attempt at magical conjuring. Literature and Scripture are full of stories that warn us against this kind of conjuring. We don't want to "let an evil genie out of the lamp".

A friend sent me one of those email forwards that I usually find irritating. I'm not going to paste this one in here because there was lots about the tone of it that I didn't like, but the message has stuck with me.

It starts with this: Open up to Psalm 106:14-15 and notice, "GOD granted their request but sent leaness to their souls."

I believe that visualization and goal-setting work to bring us closer and closer to achieving our goals. They are techniques, and, as such, value-neutral. They tend to work whether you have good goals or bad goals, and whether the pictures you envision are negative or positive. Hitler had a vision for Germany. He had goals. That's why I hope that when we think of the overall movie of our life, we think about character-building, what the Bible calls "treasures in heaven" rather than earthly success or riches, because these treasures, which bring inward joy and contentment, are far more valuable in the long term than any amount of riches without that inward joy.

The other thing about storyboarding a good character is that tragedies in life, setbacks, outer circumstances, cannot rob you of it.

2004-08-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

Storyboarding for motivation

I don't know whether it was the changing weather that threatened rain, the discombobulation of some renovations at home, or what, but I was finding it really hard to get myself motivated to do anything over the last few days.

My muscles felt stiff, I decided to stop my exercise routine for a few days, and I felt like my body and my attitude was like a stubborn old mule. I could also feel some negative thoughts trying to gain a foothold in my mind and I felt a little blue and discouraged in addition to the lethargy.

When I feel like that, it's easy for me to stop believing in storyboarding because when I'm depressed it feels like I'm always going to be depressed.

One thing that helped was getting together with a good friend I haven't seen for a while. We went for a brisk walk, caught up on each other's news, then we sat together in my living room and prayed together, something we hadn't done together in a long time. What a lift that was. Sometimes we need to allow others to help us out of the doldrums, whether it's through a walk, through prayers, through spending time together.

Then, last night, I storyboarded today. I didn't schedule the day too closely, just wrote down a number of goals like a "to do" list, then I concentrated on envisioning my morning starting with prayer--and continuing with prayer while I made my husband's breakfast and packed his lunch. I pictured how it would go in a positive way and lo and behold, when the clock radio came on, I popped up, got dressed and came downstairs to pray first thing and loved it, just as I'd imagined.

It worked. I feel like I'm back on track and ready to tackle my to do list and I wonder why I ever put this off.

2004-08-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

Time for creativity, for play

One of the beauties of storyboarding is its flexibility. I'm preparing some talks now for a conference in Edmonton in September, and I've just been asked to speak to a group of writers on storyboarding in Toronto in November.

Sometimes I used a storyboard to free my schedule. To open up time where I can free myself to play, to daydream, to pray and wait on inspiration and insight. If I know I need to write a first draft, it's better for me to free my schedule of many discrete items on a to do list because that seems to activate a different side of my brain.

I am envisioning the talk in Edmonton, envisioning the people that will come, the opportunity to share with them something that doesn't come from me, but comes from the God. That means, as I prepare, I need to spend more time waiting, listening, poring over the Bible, cultivating receptivity.

Sometimes we fly around too busy, too rushed, too pressured to be able to hear what God is trying to tell us. I know that if I want to share something that is more than just my own "cleverness", I need to be still.

When it comes to creating something, if I try to force it, I can sit in front of the computer and nothing will come. If I say, okay, it's play time, then I may find myself opening up the file and having fun and the results in my work are much better.
I'll find that while I'm relaxed, ideas and insights will flow while I'm making supper or going for a walk.

2004-08-23T05:37:00.000-07:00

Getting back on board

Over the month of July, I worked on editing my first novel for what seems like the 1,000th time. I found that my motivation to do so was almost obsessive, so instead of storyboarding, I tried to manage my obsessions by slipping in the exercise and quiet time when I could, then knowing that once I got started on the editing, I would keep going until I could no longer sit at the computer any longer. I got it done.

I've found though that being off storyboarding, my attitude is not as positive. Thus, I'm ramping up to get back on as we roll into September.

My subconscious has become used to the status quo and is fighting me. So, I'm recalling how wonderful it was to be storyboarding, how much fun it was to envision my days, how blessed it was to see myself in the light of a Scripture verse I read this morning: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (II Cor. 5:17)

When I storyboard, I affirm this newness, this wonderful sense of life and possibility that God has given me, the empowerment of His grace if I depend wholly on Him, the goodness He has in store for me if I bring my thoughts in line with His, and lift the imagination of my heart to what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report. (Philippians 4:8)

I see myself storyboarding and loving the way it motivates me to do all the beneficial and wholesome things in my life as well as to do my work in a way that is "heartily unto the Lord".

2004-07-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Junk food, taking it easy and other holiday pleasures

It's summer time, and yesterday was Canada's equivalent of July 4th. Since I'm an American living in Canada, I'm indulging in some down time right now, and I'm off my storyboard discipline.

One of the things I did was buy some junk food and sweets, which I normally don't keep around the house. Chocolate covered almonds, a hunk of halvah (ground sesame seeds with pistachios and walnuts) and some potato chips and microwave popcorn. Not being a person of moderation, I have been steadily demolishing my little stash.

As I get older, it's interesting how much more quickly I feel the bad effects of eating this kind of food, how it creates addictive cravings, causes me to feel fatigued, making it easy for me to look forward to not having it around again.

I'm also enjoying lying around reading, watching movies, lingering at the club yesterday instead of trying to rush back.

But, I'm glad to know that I can get back on my storyboard whenever I want to, and find that productivity, that discipline and that ability to see my dreams take shape in small baby steps.

I read this passage today in Graham Greene's "The Ministry of Fear" which spoke to me about the importance of dreaming, one of the key components of storyboarding. Rowe is wracked with guilt over having killed his wife --a murder he committed out of pity for her suffering.

"He had in those days imagined himself capable of extraordinary heroisms and endurances which would make the girl he loved forget the awkward hands and the spotty chin of adolescence. Everything had seemed possible. One could laugh at day-dreams, but so long as you had the capacity to day-dream, there was a change that you might develop some of the qualities of which you dreamed. It was like the religious discipline: words however emptily repeated can in time form a habit, a kind of unnoticed sediment at the bottom of the mind--until one day to your own surprise you find yourself acting on the belief you thought you didn't believe in. Since the death of his wife Rowe had never day-dreamed; all through the trial he had never even dreamed of an acquittal. It was as if that side of the brain had been dried up: he was no longer capable of sacrifice, courage, virtue, because he no longer dreamed of them. He was aware of the loss; the world had dropped a dimension and become paper-thin. He wanted to dream, but all he could practise now was despair, and the kind of cunning which warned him to approach Mr. Rennit with circumspection." p. 81 The Ministry of Fear by Graham Greene, William Heinemann Ltd. London

2004-06-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning.

Yesterday my storyboarding went reasonably well, except I got obsessed with my editing and never did the stretching or exercise I'd planned until late at night.

Today I have started the day with morning morning prayer, and the rest of the day I'll spend with my friend Debbie.

I wish you the best in having a productive and joyous day.

2004-06-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

Storyboard for tomorrow

Today went well. Have many check marks in my planner beside the many small goals I'd set for the day. And I had fun. Didn't get the editing done I'd planned on, but that'll do for tomorrow.

Similar goals tomorrow in that I want to start the day in prayer and Bible reading first thing. I choose to exercise vigorously for at least 40 minutes tomorrow by mid to late afternoon. I choose to be at my desk ready to work at 8:00 a.m. and will open up my first novel manuscript and work on editing the first 50 pages, and check over my manuscript proposal. I have some phone calls I've been putting off making---i.e. dentist and doctor. And I choose to do evening prayer and blog it around supper time instead of late at night when it's of no use to others who might want to use it and I'm too tired to enter into the spirit of it. I choose to take a ten minute stretch break around 10:00 a.m. and I'll enjoy a lunch of roasted vegetables, olives and feta cheese.

Now, to go envision my day tomorrow and lay out my clothes to I can jump start the day.

2004-06-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

My storyboard is working like a magic carpet this morning. However, because this is a flexible tool that helps me to stay motivated and productive, I'm not locked into the times I set. My friend Debbie, another avid storyboarder, is coming over this morning to do an exercise video with me at 9:30, so some of my times are shifted around. Otherwise, I'm right on schedule and, yeah, I have a smile on my face and--well, my desk is almost clear because I've started organizing the papers in separate stacks on the floor.

2004-06-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Storyboard your day tomorrow

I just got back from a conference, and all my daily routines are shot. My desk has a six inch pile of papers and books covering every surface. I haven't exercised since last Wednesday. At the conference I ate dessert at every meal. I could go on. And, I got out of my morning and evening prayer routine, something that helps me stay on an even keel spiritually.

Tomorrow, I want to get back on track and resume my daily prayer time, my daily exercise, and tidy up my desk, send follow up emails and so on.

It's difficult to format this blog the way I could do a storyboard on a piece of paper. If I were do to this on a piece of paper, I'd fold it in half lengthwise to make two columns. The left-hand column is my script for the day. Label it "SCRIPT". The right hand column are my pictures, or how I'll envision myself going about my goals that I've scripted for myself.

My script for tomorrow:
6:15 a.m. dress in clothes laid out the night before
6:30 a.m. morning prayer
7:30 a.m. blog morning prayer
7:45 a.m. breakfast
8:00 a.m. post question on Word Guild discussion list
8:15-8:45 a.m. organize papers on desk, think about Master's Artist blog post
8:45-9:00 a.m. send emails to Kelly and Lloyd to find out about story deadlines on Artic bishops
9:00-9:30 email contacts made at Write! Canada conference
9:30-9:45 do more desk organizing or filing if necessary
9:45 a.m. thank you notes
10:00 a.m. prepare grocery list
10:15 a.m. post on Master's Artist blog
11:00 a.m. do exercise video, then go to club for a swim
12:45 p.m. eat a healthful lunch
1:15 p.m. edit "The Defilers" chapters one and two, and take a look at proposal
4:00 p.m. grocery shop
5:30 p.m. prepare supper
5:45 p.m. blog evening prayer
6:00 p.m. eat supper and clean up
7:00 p.m. go for a bike ride
8:00 p.m. jump into Asher Lev discussion on Dave Long's blog

I won't necessarily stay right on these strict time limits, but I have a lot of little tasks to get done and I could fly off in too many different directions if I don't list them. I may have not allowed enough time. The Storyboard is meant to serve me, not be a slave driver. If I write down these goals, then I don't have to keep track of them in my head. And it's amazing how merely writing the goals down energizes and focuses me.

Now, in my column opposite those goals, which I've tried to make Specific, Time-Limited, Originating with me (i.e. I choose to do them), Realistic and Yearned-for (they fit in with my passion to be the productive, balanced, positive person I wish to see myself as.
I call these STORY goals.

Now, I'll print off this list and mentally rehearse it, seeing myself doing all theses things with a big smile on my face, just loving how productive and organized I am.

For tomorrow's pictures, I won't write an affirmation for each goal, just the ones that I think will be a little tougher to do.

I will try to write each affirmation in as detailed, positive and visual a way as I can.

Here goes for tomorrow:

I love waking early and reading the Bible before I read or do anything else, quieting my mind, listening to the birds chirping outside, expecting God to speak to me through Scripture. I love the peace and sense of communion that comes from sitting in His presence and offering my day to Him.

I love organizing my papers and files, efficiently handling each piece of paper only once, taking care of minor details in a timely fashion. I love staying up to date with my financial records.

I feel great when I eat healthy salads and lots of vegetables and fruit, and limit the portion sizes of the meat and cheese I eat, and eat whole grains. I feel great when I eat brown rice and enjoy the colors and time for prayer and meditation on God's word as I cut up fresh vegetables.

I feel great when I plan my grocery shopping list and a menu for the week because shopping becomes so much faster and easier, and so does meal preparation the rest of the week. I love feeling on top of all the things I need to do so that I can make the most of my time and have fun while I accomplish my goals.

I feel great when I exercise vigorously for at least 40 minutes a day and take time to stretch and lengthen my spine and breathe. I love feeling strong and flexible and full of zest and the feeling of having great posture no matter what I'm doing.

How about posting your storyboard for tomorrow?

2004-06-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

Editing the manuscript of your mind

If you were writing a screenplay to go with a storyboard of your life: the movie, you might use a word processing program that allows you to find certain words or phrases in your manuscript and replace them with new words.

Here are a few words and phrases that you need to find and replace.

Find "I should" and replace it with "I choose to" or "I love to", or "I feel great when I"

Find "I would be happy if..." and delete this phrase every time it pops up. Replace it with, "I am thankful for..." and start counting up your blessings.

Find every negative thought about yourself, such as "I'm no good. I'm a loser. I'm fat. I'm lazy. I never do anything right." and replace it with something positive.

Find every lie you believe and replace it with truth.

What other negative phrases and words do you need to eliminate from the manuscript of your mind and what would you replace them with?

2004-06-05T05:35:00.000-07:00

Choosing love over fear.

Lou Tice of the Pacific Institute sends out an email newsletter which often has some wonderful thoughts to ponder.

Today's was exceptional. Here are some excerpts:

"If you were offered a choice between feeling and acting out of fear or out
of love, which one would you pick? No question about it, most people don't
even hesitate before they say, "Love!" But this is not a hypothetical
question. It is a choice you and I are faced with every day of our lives.
And all too often, whether consciously or not, we choose fear.

When you avoid success, harm your physical health, or hold back your
attractiveness, you are choosing fear. When you fail to set goals, or give
up your power to a boss, mate, friend or authority figure, fear is
motivating you.

When you deny the truth, feel afraid to say 'no,' ignore your feelings or
focus on negative feedback, you do it out of fear. In fact, all negative
emotions can be traced to some form of fear. And the truth is that you can't
feel both love and fear at the same time. So when you act out of fear, you
are choosing to shut out love."
--Lou Tice

If you want to look at past newsletters or subscribe to this newsletter

here's the link.

Storyboarding can help you act out of love, because you can mentally prepare yourself for how a loving you will behave in your future circumstances by envisioning yourself responding differently to people and circumstances.

We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we do have a choice over how we respond to the negative events and people in our lives.

2004-05-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

Storyboarding to fit your personality type

Yesterday, I had a long conversation with a friend who had, years ago, taken
a three day workshop on Myers-Briggs personality types. She said this course
revolutionized her life because understanding her personality type and that
of her children make it so much easier to understand them and communicate
with them. Last week, I went to do a little newspaper article on another
personality type paradigm called DISC, which isn't quite so complex as
Myers-Briggs, and parallels another personality typing course I took years
ago in a Sunday school class that talked about Choleric, Sanguine,
Phlegmatic and Melancholic personality types.

Many of us have come across these paradigms, or others, perhaps based on
colors or different hats. How do these relate to storyboarding?

I need to storyboard my life because I am an ENFP---an Extroverted,
iNtuitive, Feeling and Perceiving type according to Myers-Briggs, an I,
according to DISC and a Sanguine according to the classical personality type
model.

I need to plan and impose some discipline on my spontaneous, dreamy,
fun-loving personality or I'd never get a lick of work done. I also have to
trick my subconscious into thinking that certain things like cleaning the
birdcage or dusting are fun-filled escapades or I'll procrastinate forever.

I realized recently though that the storyboard was working too well. I was
being really disciplined. I was chained to my computer. I was following my
plan. But, I was starting to feel lonely and depressed and, well, sick and
tired of discipline and order. So, I threw off the traces and felt like an
arrow shooting out of a tightened bow. I had to stop and let myself drift
and play and be around people and let things happen in unexpected and
surprising ways because that's my nature and it's okay to be that way and if
I don't allow myself to express that side of my nature I will shrivel up and
die inside.

But, I'm confident that I can use the storyboard to get myself back on track
so that I can harness all the energy created by allowing myself to live for
a season in what suits my personality the best.

For those of you who are already tightly focused and disciplined, who find
the idea of letting go, being spontaneous and dreaming foreign, difficult,
and even a little scary, storyboarding can help you develop that side of
your nature, help you get out of your comfort zone and lean how to smell the
roses and enjoy life.

You can use the good habits you already have in planning to plan some down
time, some fun time, some time to cultivate some dreams and vision.

The point is this: you can adjust your storyboard to suit your personality,
to work with your strengths and to give you the motivation to work on habits
that correct your weaknesses.

Happy storyboarding,

Deborah

2004-05-10T05:27:00.000-07:00

Dreaming big dreams

Saturday night, I attended the 20th anniversary of Doug and Meredith Ward's coming to Kanata Baptist Church. When they arrived in Kanata in 1984, the city had only 25,000 inhabitants. The church had an old house on Hazeldean road dubbed "the mouse house" because of an infestation of mice. There was no church building, only meetings in a garage or a school gym.

Over the course of the evening, we watched slides of the various changes in the life of Kanata Baptist. The building of a church, the building of a whole complex of non-profit, geared to income housing, the expansion of the church building, more than doubling the amount of space, the establishment of a home for abused teenagers, and the establishment of Sylvia House, a hospice for the dying. Though the teen home no longer exists, it was one of many ministeries that began with a vision, and became reality.

Doug was repeatedly described as a visionary during the evening, but more than that, Doug has also been someone who allowed other people to bring their visions forward and test them, and, if their vision caught, allow the church body to take hold and bring that vision to life.

Now, Kanata Baptist Church is deemed one of the most successful churches in Canada. Doug mentors other pastors throughout the country. Kanata has more than 100,000 people and is now part of the city of Ottawa.

What if the vision had stayed small? What if it never expanded beyond the rickety mouse house on Hazeldean Road? My life was changed forever after I walked inside the door 14 years ago. The changes came in increments, but I can attribute those changes to the good pouring out of grand visions of a small group of people who dared to believe in something beyond a garage and a school gym. Hundreds of others have been impacted in the same way.

How big is your vision? Do you dare to dream? Are your dreams only about your own success and that of your immediate family? How about expanding your dreams? Why not include service to others and see how that makes you feel? Are you afraid to dream big? Why? Are you afraid that you might not be able to carry it off? The little group in Kanata Baptist didn't believe in elbow grease and self-reliance. They relied on God to help them, though they supplied no shortage of sweat equity and labors of love.

Let yourself dream. Expand your vision. See yourself serving others and loving every minute. What do you see?

2004-04-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

Some people are constantly observing themselves and analyzing everything they do. Their minds are constantly rating every action, every thought as if their minds didn't exist inside their bodies, but they were observing their bodies from afar. The point of the kind of "screening" I recommend in Storyboard Your Life is the opposite of this kind of screening. Instead of being inside the mind observing the body--which is like our being inside the television set we're supposed to be watching commenting on ourselves sitting on the couch--let's reverse that. Instead, let's become aware of ourselves in our bodies as we watch the contents of our mind. That way we are at home in our bodies, centered, "in the room" and alive, gently observing the thoughts and pictures flitting by in our minds, not trapped inside them.

It's not easy to get outside our mental TV set and observe objectively. We tend to think that our way of seeing things is "reality" and our feelings accurately reflect how bad that reality seems to us. Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings. Step back, get centered in yourself and observe. You'll be amazed at how making a practice of this will expand your capacity to see. It's also relaxing, once you get used to it.

Dr. Herbert Benson, bestselling author and researcher at Harvard Medical School's Mind/Body Medical Institute (www.mbmi.org) wrote a book in the 1970's called "The Relaxation Response" re-issued in a new edition a few years ago and now has another book out called "The Break-out Principle". In these books he explores what happens to the brain when people relax their minds with simple techniques such as focusing on a word meaningful to your belief system as you breathe out. An anonymous Christian mystic wrote about this technique in a famous classic called "The Cloud of Unknowing". But Dr. Benson has studied the power of this technique to bring about breakthroughs in performance, in health, in creativity.

Why don't you try it? Set a timer for 20 minutes. Sit quietly in a room where you will be comfortable enough to sit for a while without interruptions, but not so comfortable you'll fall asleep. Become aware of yourself inside your body, as if you are screening your mind on a television set. Don't scrutinize too closely or get caught up in what you see. As you breathe out, think of a word, or say a short phrase that it meaningful to you. You don't need to chant the word or devote a lot of effort to this, just gently say your word and remain aware of yourself centered in your body whenever you feel your mind getting too caught up in the television set of your mind.

The results of this exercise show up over time. You may not feel much from only trying it once, and remaining aware and calm in the present moment is a practice that may take some people years to develop.

2004-04-02T05:24:00.000-08:00

Screening yourself

I haven't met many people who enjoy hearing themselves on a digital or tape recorder, and even fewer who enjoy seeing themselves on a television screen. Yet, if you work as a television reporter or television host, you have to get used to seeing yourself "perform" on screen. You get used to seeing yourself in slow motion, or seeing the jerky Keystone Cops gestures when your tape is fastforwarded; you hear your voice sped up to sound like Minnie Mouse, or slowed down like Darth Vader's. When you stop the pictures to find an edit point, there's a good chance you have your mouth hanging open and your eyes closed.

The point is this. After a while, you get used to seeing yourself in an objective light. You make corrections in your subsequent performances. You lower your voice if it is too high. With a dab of powder, you get rid of the shine on your forehead. You stop slouching or licking your lips. You don't sit in the screening room and berate yourself for sounding or looking like a jerk. No, you take an objective look and you work on doing a better job next time. I imagine it is the same thing for an actor.

Too bad we don't often observe the contents of our minds--the images, the words, the feelings, the memories--with the same objectivity a television reporter or an actor views footage of herself. Instead, we often beat ourselves up, or we stay locked in the internal drama, unable to step back and take an objective look.

With practice, we can learn to do this. Imagine that your mind is a television set or a monitor in an edit suite. You see images, sound, action. You see the emotional content of what you are screening. But, instead of getting caught up in the "movie", step back. Remember that you are in a darkened room viewing this on a screen. It's hard to do. It takes practice. It takes developing a discipline of doing it regularly.

Here's how you start. Find a quiet and comfortable spot where you will be free from interruptions. Set a kitchen timer for 15 minutes. Or tell yourself that you will go by the clock to sit for that length of time.

Close your eyes. Anchor yourself in your body, in the present moment, as if you were maintaining awareness of yourself in an edit suite watching raw footage of yourself with an eye to being objective. Listen to the sounds around you, become aware of your breathing, of the outlines of your physical self sitting in the chair. Whenever you find yourself drifting into daydreams and loosing your awareness of yourself sitting in the chair, in the room, gently nudge yourself back into the present. As you sit, aware of yourself in the present, observe your thoughts, feelings, mental images without making an emotional judgement about what you see. Don't leap to condemn yourself, or hate yourself. If you find that you are doing it compulsively, observe that. Don't beat yourself up for beating yourself up, just observe that you are doing it. You are the observer watching this, screening the material, not the actor anymore trying to control the drama. Stay in the room, in the present. It's not easy to do and takes practice.

When you finish your fifteen minutes, write down what you observed. What thoughts kept running through your head? What feelings? Did you feel anxious? Were you able to step back from your anxiety and watch it?

When I started doing an exercise similar to this, I was so out of touch with my feelings that I would often not become aware of how angry I was at someone until three or four days after the event that angered me. I was so caught up in an idea that I "should not" be angry that I repressed awareness of how I was really reacting. Other people could see how I felt, but I didn't. Consequently, I was easily manipulated. When I started to "screen" my thoughts and feelings, I became aware of how angry and resentful I really was. But it was only through becoming aware that I was able to find freedom from these feelings and learn how to react differently.

The other thing that I learned when I stepped back to "screen" was how negative my thinking was. Not only was I thinking negatively about myself all the time, but I was constantly critical of others. I blamed other people for how I felt. Most spiritual traditions tell us not to judge other people. I was constantly judging, and that judgement was accompanied by feelings of resentment or contempt. When I learned to screen my mind and feelings, I learned to give up the booby prize of self-righteousness and moral superiority that comes with resenting someone.

Only when I made a practice of stopping this constant judgement was I able to discern more clearly what was really going on, especially within myself. I learned that blame and resentment fueled the excuses I was making about my life, even though I was not conscious of that blame and resentment since I was so invested in thinking of myself as a nice person.

In my spiritual tradition, Jesus said, "Ye shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free."

Years ago, in psychology class, I found that the writings of the founder of humanistic psychology, Carl Rogers, echoed this same principle....that only upon acknowledging and admitting ones flaws does one begin to change.

2004-03-08T07:15:00.000-08:00

The Arc of Your Story

If your life were a movie, what is your grand finale moment? What happens when all the subplots are tied together and you triumph? What are your trophies, prizes, relationships gained or healed?

And what is the change that you--your main character--undergoes in the course of your movie?

Aristotle wrote long about about five levels of happiness. The first level is our appetites, our natural desires for food, sex, comfort--for things. However, we find that if we indulge these appetites, even the best sex and the best food can become boring and unsatisfying after a while. We find that no matter how much we try to fill these appetites there's always a feeling of lack. So, most of us move beyond seeking happiness and fulfillment only on this first level.

The second level of happiness, represents the joy we feel when we accomplish something, attain a new skill, and achieve rewards and status. But this happiness begins to pale when we start to compare ourselves with others. We always find that there are others who are better than we are, or who, if we're Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods, overtake us.
So, we begin to look for happiness on the third level.

The third level of happiness is the satisfaction that comes through altruism, through doing something for others without thought of return. This is the level of human love that goes beyond the mere satisfaction of appetite. This kind of joy is what prompts people to go to the far reaches of the world with organizations like Doctors Without Borders or take up work with organizations like Children's Aid. But we only have so much to give. The overwhelming suffering and problems sap our energies. This level of happiness is vulnerable to feelings of exhaustion, of being drained.

The fourth level of happiness is the joy found in a relationship with the divine, with a power greater than ourselves that replenishes us spiritually. This relationship replensishes our souls so that we have the energy for level three, the ability to enjoy level two without comparisons that make us bitter, and level one without excess.

In most movies that resonate with us, we see a character move from one level of happiness, say level one, to
a higher level. Take a movie like Jerry Maguire. He moves from a level 2 to a level 3 in this story.

The change in a character is called "The arc of the story".

What do you want the arc of your story to be?

What makes you happiest now? Are you satisfied with that level? Would you like to change it?
If you want to move to another level, what sort of time are you storyboarding to attend to
levels three and four?

Take a look at your calendar. Where are you spending mosts of your time? Are you attending to level one appetites most of the time? (Well, most of us are in the sense that we sleep for the bulk of our time!)

How much time are you devoting to your family life in a level three way? How much to your spiritual life?

You can determine the arc of your story, even if you can't always control the circumstances of your life.
But your character and your response to your circumstances is under your control and based on the choices you make.

2004-03-01T04:40:00.000-08:00

Memories and Our Personal Storyline

If anyone wants to read a good book about memory, how it operates in our mind and how it serves us, I recommend reading White Gloves: How We Create Ourselves Through Memory by John Kotre, The Free Press (A Division of Simon and Schuster 1995).

Many of us are still under the impression that our brain stores memories the way a computer might store them, that somewhere is an accurate record of "what happened" in the past. Kotre writes about various studies of memory that show that our memories are often not accurate at all, and can be manipulated or changed. For example, studies showed that memories could be implanted later on when experimenters asked a questions that planted suggestions into the mind, or a person saw a photograph of an event that radically shifted his or her memory of it. Brainwashing techniques have also been used to tear away at the memories upon which we base a sense of self.

Kotre writes about how alchoholics often remember--in great detail-- their first drink, just as most of us have vivid memories of the first kiss, the first summer job, the first time we saw our newborn child. That first drink, for the alcoholic, is part of his or her identity.

But having an identity as "an alcoholic" isn't such a great identity to have, now is it? What other identities might we have that spring from a traumatic memory or our absorbing into ourselves a parent's "You'll never amount to much" or
"You always do such and such" ? If you think that the memory you have is somehow fixed and thus has "power" over you, you might continue playing out this "life story", enduring it because you feel as if that's the deck of cards fortune has dealt you.

One of the powerful aspects of Storyboarding is that it is a conscious technique to change your life story by implanting into your mind a new life story, based on a new identity, one that you choose. Yes, memories have power, and the more traumatic and vivid the memory, the more they shape us. But you have a tool that can combat that power. It is your imagination and your power to dream and visualize a different you, in a different story, starting right now.

When you see your life ahead, resist the negative pictures of yourself that bubble into your mind and the words that
tell you "You'll never make it. You always choke when the opportunity comes. You couldn't deal with that level of responsibility. You're going to let people down. My father was irritable and impatient with us kids and I guess I am the same way." If you replace those thoughts and images with positive thoughts, add written goals that are challenging but realistic, and you vividly imagine yourself having already accomplished those goals and feeling wonderful having done so, you'll find that the negative hold bad memories have over you will lose its grip. Your new future and new identity will
grow in power. You'll see a new future unfold in front of you.

If you want a refresher on how to storyboard your day, go to www.bestwaycommunications.com, click on the Storyboard key and download one of the articles you'll find at the bottom of that page.

2004-02-24T06:28:00.000-08:00

Memories and Emotion

Have you ever noticed that when you feel depressed, it seems as if you've always been depressed and that you will always feel depressed forever? And when you're flying high, you feel as if you have always felt great and you'll feel good forever?

I'm reading a book about memory now, and it says that studies show that memories associated with different emotions are stored in different places in the brain. Thus, when you feel depressed or unhappy, the memories associated with those feelings get stimulated. When you're experiencing joy, the memories associated with those feelings get stimulated.

I remember when my former workplace was about to hand out lay-off notices to hundreds of people and a trainer was brought in to help people realize what kinds of skills they had. He asked us to divide into small groups and think of times when we had accomplished something at work that we were proud of, and to think about what skills we displayed in bringing about that achievement. Then, we each got a chance to share that accomplishment with the whole group. We had, for the most part, come into this training session feeling gloomy about the impending job cuts, but we left feeling empowered because we remembered the times we had done well and realized we could do well in the future, perhaps in a new job somewhere else.

So, if you are feeling blue and only bad memories are surfacing, try to deliberately and consciously dig into your mind for some good memories. You may deliberately try counting your blessings. You may find that by focusing on positive memories you will trigger the feelings of well being next to those memories and lift yourself out of your depression.

2004-02-24T06:19:00.000-08:00

Storyboard Anyplace Anytime

One of the key components of storyboarding is to imagine the pictures you would like to see accompanying the accomplishment of the goals you have set for yourself.

You don't need to put off storyboarding because you don't seem able to find the time. You can mentally rehearse your afternoon, your next day, the coming week, your holiday while riding the bus, waiting in the doctor's office or even while driving your car, as long as you don't close your eyes!

Include in the mental picture one of yourself taking time to write down your goals or an affirmation to accompany the pictures.

You do not need to storyboard every detail of your day. It's okay to zoom into those items that you really want accomplished but have found difficult
to find the motivation for.

I'm in the process of trying to get my finances ready for doing taxes. I can lament the hard work and frustration--my default pictures of taking care of little details like that--or I can picture myself loving doing it. And, you know, once I get the Excel spreadsheet up on my computer screen, it's kind of fun, certainly as satisfying as playing Solitaire on the computer.

Isn't it true that the dread of certain tasks is often far worse than how it feels when we actually do them?

2004-02-06T05:06:00.000-08:00

Never Too Late

It's never too late in the week to try storyboarding the next day. You can even try storyboarding your afternoon by mentally rehearsing it in your mind, clarifying your goals and writing down your goals and an affirmation based on the pictures you rehearse about how great it's going to feel as you accomplish your goals.

Prepare as well to storyboard on the weekend. Saturdays often end up a blur of errands and chores for those of us who have full time jobs. How can you have a Saturday to dream of? You start dreaming about it. Yes, you can fit in the errands and the chores, but also carve out a big chunk of time to spend with your family or friends if you storyboard your day.

2004-01-30T05:30:00.000-08:00

Raw Footage

When I used to go out with a cameraman (or woman, but women schlepping Betacams around are relatively rare), we would return from a "shoot" with two to six videotapes of "raw footage". While not every tape would be filled with material, we would have considerably more pictures and sound bites than we could possibly use for a news item, which averages less than two minutes in length. For a documentary with days of shooting, we might end up with a cardboard box of tapes.

The next stage after the shoot would be reviewing all the raw footage and figuring out what we wanted to keep and what we wanted to discard. From the days of film, when film editors physically cut the unwanted portions, comes the metaphorical term "end up on the cutting room floor" for unwanted video and digital images. In fact, digital editing, done professionally in fancy computer suites, allows you to put the portions of sound and video into electronic "bins" , because of the way film editors place the strips of film they wanted to save into soft cloth bins until they were ready to splice the film strips together into a finished product.

As you prepare to storyboard your week, why not take a look at the raw footage of this past week. What in your raw footage pleases you and is worth keeping for next week? What belongs on the cutting room floor?

Have you taken on too much and need to slow down? Would you be better off if you did fewer things well rather than try to spin off in all directions? Are you neglecting areas in your life, such as your diet or exercise? Are you being short with your family members because you're overtired?

Sometimes an inventory like this can help you determine what it is you don't like. If you know what you don't like, you can try listing what you don't like, then writing the opposite of what you don't like. That will show you what you do like!

Then storyboard what you do like into your plan for next week. If there are things you don't like that are important commitments, then storyboard a new attitude. See yourself in your mind's eye enjoying the great feeling you'll have after meeting that commitment.

2004-01-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

Your Life: The Movie

Have you ever thought of your life as a movie?

What kind of movie has it been so far? Is it a story where you've triumphed over great odds? Or are you a bit player in someone else's flick?

What kind of movie would you like the rest of your life to be?

Storyboarding is a technique used in the television, film and advertising to plan on paper how images and words will match. It might look like a comic strip with little balloons for the script or simple sketches with text underneath.

Without a good plan, pictures may end up looking like wallpaper, doing nothing to enhance the script.

Our lives, without a plan that deals with the pictures we have in our deepest imagination, can end up looking like the raw footage that ends up on the proverbial cutting room floor.

Most of us have default negative pictures that sabotage our efforts at change.

What is your preview of coming attractions? Do you fear for the future? Or is your future full of hope?

You can change your preview of coming attractions. You can change your future.