Memories and Our Personal Storyline

If anyone wants to read a good book about memory, how it operates in our mind and how it serves us, I recommend reading White Gloves: How We Create Ourselves Through Memory by John Kotre, The Free Press (A Division of Simon and Schuster 1995).

Many of us are still under the impression that our brain stores memories the way a computer might store them, that somewhere is an accurate record of "what happened" in the past. Kotre writes about various studies of memory that show that our memories are often not accurate at all, and can be manipulated or changed. For example, studies showed that memories could be implanted later on when experimenters asked a questions that planted suggestions into the mind, or a person saw a photograph of an event that radically shifted his or her memory of it. Brainwashing techniques have also been used to tear away at the memories upon which we base a sense of self.

Kotre writes about how alchoholics often remember--in great detail-- their first drink, just as most of us have vivid memories of the first kiss, the first summer job, the first time we saw our newborn child. That first drink, for the alcoholic, is part of his or her identity.

But having an identity as "an alcoholic" isn't such a great identity to have, now is it? What other identities might we have that spring from a traumatic memory or our absorbing into ourselves a parent's "You'll never amount to much" or
"You always do such and such" ? If you think that the memory you have is somehow fixed and thus has "power" over you, you might continue playing out this "life story", enduring it because you feel as if that's the deck of cards fortune has dealt you.

One of the powerful aspects of Storyboarding is that it is a conscious technique to change your life story by implanting into your mind a new life story, based on a new identity, one that you choose. Yes, memories have power, and the more traumatic and vivid the memory, the more they shape us. But you have a tool that can combat that power. It is your imagination and your power to dream and visualize a different you, in a different story, starting right now.

When you see your life ahead, resist the negative pictures of yourself that bubble into your mind and the words that
tell you "You'll never make it. You always choke when the opportunity comes. You couldn't deal with that level of responsibility. You're going to let people down. My father was irritable and impatient with us kids and I guess I am the same way." If you replace those thoughts and images with positive thoughts, add written goals that are challenging but realistic, and you vividly imagine yourself having already accomplished those goals and feeling wonderful having done so, you'll find that the negative hold bad memories have over you will lose its grip. Your new future and new identity will
grow in power. You'll see a new future unfold in front of you.

If you want a refresher on how to storyboard your day, go to www.bestwaycommunications.com, click on the Storyboard key and download one of the articles you'll find at the bottom of that page.